Category Archives: Money Matters

What I Will Tell My Children About Student Loans

You better make plans

Not all that glitters is gold

Student loans are traps

 

You better think smart

Time waits for no one at all

Grace runs out real fast

 

There are other ways

To attain your dreams and goals

Don’t enslave yourself

 

I’ll save funds for you

I’ll try to give you the best

But you must work too

 

And I’ll end with this:

All roads lead to Rome. Some roads are better than others.

Do not be fooled by that which appears easy and convenient.

Appearances are, always have been and always will be deceiving.

 

 

Copyright © 2018 [SOOVERIT]. All Rights Reserved.

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To My Millenials Living At Home: Live Your Best Life Starting Now, Not Later

Dear Millenials Living At Home,

I love you guys. I am one of you.

For the longest time, I struggled with the secret shame of living at home after 7 long years away (undergrad + grad school + work), developing my independence as an adult.

For those who have been following my blog from the beginning, you’ll know that I abruptly ended my 3 year stay in a gritty city that shall remain nameless due to being fired from my job. I did everything I could to not come back home because I was so afraid of losing the life I loved.

I found myself at home, drowning in a pool of self-loathing, despair and anxiety, masked by false pride, false joy, and false confidence.

As the months passed (It’s been like 7 months), and I found myself slipping into the very old dynamics I tried so hard to stay away from, anxiety and frustration began to take over. I felt a hopelessness, and a sense of desperation. I needed to move out! I needed to get away from home.

I told myself: I won’t ever be able to fully be myself until I leave home.

With this lie has come other seriously flawed beliefs:

I can’t fast (y’all know I now love fasting), be vegan (y’all didn’t know this but I love veganism too), or actually enjoy my life if I’m living at home.

I can’t have fun adventures, or be free or do me while I’m at home.

I can’t just be and live life while I’m at home.

Upon spending some time to talk with God and upon meditating and reflecting on my life, I’ve come to realize just how much I have been holding myself back from living my fullest life for the past 7 months.

I took my living at home as a death sentence, and made my mom, dad and siblings my oppressors.

I came to believe that if I ever where to find the freedom I so desperately wanted, it would be ANYWHERE BUT HERE.

But the truth is this: freedom exists not within a location, but in a Person. 

That person is Jesus Christ.

When I completely entrust my life to Him, and yield to His perfect will for me…. I AM FREE.

When I do NOT rush what He is doing in me, and allow Him to take His time to perfect me… I AM FREE.

When I do the hard work of living my most authentic life at home, pushing past the dynamics that once enslaved me in my past…. I AM FREE.

When I stop blaming my family, and stop taking on a victim mentality, when I stop blaming others and making excuses for why I can’t live the life I want to live now… I AM FREE.

When I make choices each day to get closer to the person I want to be….. I AM FREE.

When I stop fantasizing about how perfect my life could be if I were anywhere but here, instead of mortgaging my present for an uncertain future…. I AM FREE.

And true freedom is what Christ died for me to have.

True freedom is why He resurrected…so I could live.

He wants me to live my best life RIGHT NOW. Not just in the future.

Some of my millenial friends at home might say:

Well you’ve been away for some time, you’ve tasted the freedom. I have never left home, so shut up and let me dream.

To that I reply, you didn’t actually read and comprehend this post. But that’s ok! You are totally allowed to dream. In fact, you can do whatever you want. But I reckon that you are probably missing out on living your best life because you are putting your happiness on hold. You are waiting to be somewhere else before you can live your best life. I think you need to ask your Freedom Director about that. Are you living the way He wants you to live? I highly doubt it. But that’s between you and God.

Other millenial friends at home might say:

No, you really don’t understand. I cannot be myself at home. My parents are crazy controlling and obsessive.

To that I reply, I don’t know your home life and your situation so I can’t really speak into that, but I will say this. If you are a child of God, and if you love Him, then you either believe His word or you don’t. You either believe He is who He says He is or you don’t. You either believe that every part of your journey, mistakes and all are working out in your favor or YOU DON’T. You being at home right now is not a mistake. It’s not a flaw. God is doing a MIRACLE in you and in your house right now if you would just believe!

However, if being at home is taking a toll on your mental health, please seek professional help and work with your Freedom Director to craft some strategies to help you in the midst of your situation. As bad as your situation is or may be….. no situation is too hard for the Lord.

My millenial friends….

I believe God has me at home for a reason and for a season.

I wanted to rush away from home and be done living here by any means necessary so I could live my best life.

I see now how wrong I was and have purposed in my heart to live my best life now.

I will be a blessing to my parents, my siblings and myself during this time.

I will seek the Lord like never before.

I will do the things I thought were impossible to do while living at home (fasting, being vegan, having adventures) and I will do it with my best friend in life: Jesus Christ, because He led me here and the bible promises:

HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL BE FAITHFUL TO COMPLETE IT (Phil 1:6).

Life doesn’t end when you move back home or decide to remain home, unless you let it.

I get it. It’s hard. It takes time. It takes work. And parents don’t make it easy. When you come back home to live, there are expectations. There are feelings of constraints. There are unspoken rules and regulations…and sometimes they are verbalized. There are annoyances and irritants that seem unbearable. There are days where you just want to quit everything and head to the nearest homeless shelter or anywhere but be at home. I get it. But even in the midst of all that…..

I encourage you to lean into what God is doing and saying and to stop putting your life on hold.

When the time has finally come for you to move out, you won’t feel like you’ve missed a step.

You won’t feel like you’ve wasted any time.

Save all the money that you can.

Enrich the lives of your loved ones.

Take risks.

Learn from your mistakes. Fail. Change. Grow.

Millenials living at home, this is a challenge for you to RENEW YOUR MIND and stop wasting your precious time.

If you can make it at home, as a millenial, with strict/overbearing/controlling/annoying/overloving parents:

YOU CAN AND WILL MAKE IT ANYWHERE.

Remember:

Freedom exists not within a location, but within a Person. That Person is Jesus.

Freedom is not a place, but a state of mind. What’s your state of mind? 

My New Favorite Comedy: Millenial In Debt’s IG

Hey ya’ll! So I was browsing on this platform called Blossom, and I came across this Youtube web series called Millenial In Debt…chai this is kinda hitting a little too close to home!!!!!

The protagonist doubled majored in Psychology and Sociology just like…….someone I know. LOL.

While her lifestyle choices seem different from mine in the first episode (I certainly wasn’t spending any type of money trying to stunt on Instagram, and find love….nope I’m not paying for dating apps and match services….) I definitely have made stupid decisions with my money over the years.

But the real comedy is on the Millenial in Debt Instagram page….. I love how relatable and hilarious the page is. I’ll send some examples in a future post.

In any case, if you’re interested in checking out episode 1, you can find it here.

To check out the Millenial in Debt Instagram Page, click here.

 

Hard Pill To Swallow #1: God is Moved by Faith Not Need.

“God is moved by faith, not need”.

The first time I heard these words, I was in undergrad. Upon hearing them, I was livid and bewildered.

How was it possible that God didn’t respond to need? Is He a callous God? Does He not care about the needs of His children?

Those words still haunt me to this day…. but they make more sense with each passing moment.

My life and the life of my best friend is a nice study in contrast I guess.

My best friend is financially stable, essentially. No student loans or debt of any kind. Enough cash to cover whatever expenses/emergencies may come up. Her mom pays all her bills. She’s chilling and wants for nothing.

But even in her state of financial stability, she stays getting money. This chick stays getting money. Whether it be from focus groups/studies she does, or her mom, or random Auntie/Uncle from church, this chick gets money without even blinking an eye. Oh! And people give her stuff too. Free meals, free whatever. She stay getting.

Take my life as a complete and total contrast.

Six figures in debt, including hefty student loans for two Ivy League degrees (undergrad and Master’s), car payments and a vacuum cleaner my parents got in my name. Add to that my car insurance, phone bill, and you’ve got yourself a chick who needs hella money.

I cut out my utility and rent expenses by moving back home, but I still have all this other shit I need to pay off. And yet money seems to elude me.

I’ve applied to what seems like hundreds of jobs and opportunities at this point. The jobs that I really really wanted, I didn’t get. Either I was ignored, they suddenly and strangely stopped hiring for the position (one job stated that due to unforeseen circumstances they could no longer hire for the program.. I was really pumped about that job too), or simply didn’t get the job…. OR I was being offered a ridiculous salary (like $20, when I should be paid $40).

I’ve looked for ways to make alternate income. I submit proposals on upwork. I scour craigslist daily for opportunities. I do what I gotta do.

But I still end up needy as ever. And I ask myself. GOD DO YOU NOT SEE MY NEED?

Now I’m not saying that my friend has all this faith that God is going to provide. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t fucking know. But I do know that in all my need….. God hasn’t really swooped in to save me. There are people who have the story of “I never missed a payment for my bills. I never was late on a payment because God always provided.”

That was never my fucking story. I’ve missed countless payments because I had no money to pay. I’ve had to take two jobs and still not have ends meet. I’ve struggled and still found myself drowning underwater. Oh and might I add that I’m generous to a fault?!?!? MIGHT I ADD that I give even when it hurts?!?!? And yet here I am. Broke as fuck.

So when I hear things like “God isn’t moved by need but by faith”, I wonder.

God, if I had all the faith in the world that You will show up for me in the midst of my financial shithole, and I don’t waver in my faith, how will my life be different?

If I spend the next few months rearranging my mindsets about money and about God’s heart for me and my money, how will my life be different?

If I have radical faith that God wants to bless me financially so I can be a blessing to others, how will my life be different?

If I stop stressing out about what I don’t have, and start thanking God for what I do have and for what’s coming, how will my life be different?

If I give God a reason to show up, and if I present God with a challenge, rather than a list of complaints, how will my life be different?

If I stop looking at my best friend’s life and the lives of others and how God seems to be blessing and favoring them, and if I focus on what God has given me, and focus on stewarding that well, how will my life be different?

These are things I’d like to explore within the next few weeks. I’ll be happy to report what I find out!