Category Archives: Money Matters

Hard Pill To Swallow #1: God is Moved by Faith Not Need.

“God is moved by faith, not need”.

The first time I heard these words, I was in undergrad. Upon hearing them, I was livid and bewildered.

How was it possible that God didn’t respond to need? Is He a callous God? Does He not care about the needs of His children?

Those words still haunt me to this day…. but they make more sense with each passing moment.

My life and the life of my best friend is a nice study in contrast I guess.

My best friend is financially stable, essentially. No student loans or debt of any kind. Enough cash to cover whatever expenses/emergencies may come up. Her mom pays all her bills. She’s chilling and wants for nothing.

But even in her state of financial stability, she stays getting money. This chick stays getting money. Whether it be from focus groups/studies she does, or her mom, or random Auntie/Uncle from church, this chick gets money without even blinking an eye. Oh! And people give her stuff too. Free meals, free whatever. She stay getting.

Take my life as a complete and total contrast.

Six figures in debt, including hefty student loans for two Ivy League degrees (undergrad and Master’s), car payments and a vacuum cleaner my parents got in my name. Add to that my car insurance, phone bill, and you’ve got yourself a chick who needs hella money.

I cut out my utility and rent expenses by moving back home, but I still have all this other shit I need to pay off. And yet money seems to elude me.

I’ve applied to what seems like hundreds of jobs and opportunities at this point. The jobs that I really really wanted, I didn’t get. Either I was ignored, they suddenly and strangely stopped hiring for the position (one job stated that due to unforeseen circumstances they could no longer hire for the program.. I was really pumped about that job too), or simply didn’t get the job…. OR I was being offered a ridiculous salary (like $20, when I should be paid $40).

I’ve looked for ways to make alternate income. I submit proposals on upwork. I scour craigslist daily for opportunities. I do what I gotta do.

But I still end up needy as ever. And I ask myself. GOD DO YOU NOT SEE MY NEED?

Now I’m not saying that my friend has all this faith that God is going to provide. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t fucking know. But I do know that in all my need….. God hasn’t really swooped in to save me. There are people who have the story of “I never missed a payment for my bills. I never was late on a payment because God always provided.”

That was never my fucking story. I’ve missed countless payments because I had no money to pay. I’ve had to take two jobs and still not have ends meet. I’ve struggled and still found myself drowning underwater. Oh and might I add that I’m generous to a fault?!?!? MIGHT I ADD that I give even when it hurts?!?!? And yet here I am. Broke as fuck.

So when I hear things like “God isn’t moved by need but by faith”, I wonder.

God, if I had all the faith in the world that You will show up for me in the midst of my financial shithole, and I don’t waver in my faith, how will my life be different?

If I spend the next few months rearranging my mindsets about money and about God’s heart for me and my money, how will my life be different?

If I have radical faith that God wants to bless me financially so I can be a blessing to others, how will my life be different?

If I stop stressing out about what I don’t have, and start thanking God for what I do have and for what’s coming, how will my life be different?

If I give God a reason to show up, and if I present God with a challenge, rather than a list of complaints, how will my life be different?

If I stop looking at my best friend’s life and the lives of others and how God seems to be blessing and favoring them, and if I focus on what God has given me, and focus on stewarding that well, how will my life be different?

These are things I’d like to explore within the next few weeks. I’ll be happy to report what I find out!


Fuck It I’m A Spender

When it comes to money personalities, I’m a spender not a saver.

I used to judge myself harshly for this, especially when I compared myself to my mom, best friend, and a few other friends who were super savers and excellent bargain hunters.

I used to judge my friends for the hours they would spend trying to scour a good deal. Given that my I highly value my time and convenience, I thought it stupid that they would spend so much time just to save a couple of dollars.

This judgment led to some uncomfortable interactions between friends, for which I have since apologized for.

We are all different.

No way is better. Although bargain hunters do tend to save more money, they also spend more time that they could be using to make more money.

And although spenders save more time, they may have to take the time they saved to make more money because they didn’t do their homework and take some time to delay gratification and save a couple dollars.

Either way, we are all unique. Embrace your money personality, know your weaknesses and shortcomings and then adapt/modify if/when necessary.

I don’t think I’ll ever be that person that waits months waiting for the price to drop on a hair product. But I will certainly do my research on the cost of an item, shop around if necessary and make an informed decision¬†if it matters to me. That’s the key. It has to matter to you. Case in point:

1. I LOVE Bath and Body Works Candles. ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE THINGS. Like you don’t understand how much I love them. However, Bath and Body Works candles have a retail price of $24.50 per 3-wick candle. No fucking way am I dropping $24.50 on a 3-wick candle. Hell nah.

So what do I do? I wait. I wait until Bath and Body Work’s has a sale (and they are ALWAYS HAVING a sale… it’s literally like clockwork). Then I compare past purchases and see where I can get the most bang for my buck. I am absolutely THRILLED when I can get candles for a cheaper price than the last time I bought them. It honestly makes me happy.

2. I love love love makeup. I unfortunately also have very expensive taste. I went through a phase of doing the absolute most when it came to dropping dough on makeup. I spent hundreds of dollars not batting an eye and not giving a damn. But I’m not the same chick anymore. I sparingly buy makeup, and when I do, IT IS DURING A SALE. I recently discovered that MAC makeup is being sold at Nordstrom Rack! So what the fuck did I do? I got myself an eyebrow pencil from MAC for half the retail price that I would from the counter. Hell yeah.

So I’m not a hopeless spender beyond repair. I just think that there are some things that I’d rather save time than money on, and other things that I’d rather save money than time on. I think as time goes on and as I get more serious about financial independence and wealth, I’ll become even more of a bargain shopper, but it won’t be because I’m afraid of being judged or because I feel like I should. It’ll be because I’m happy by the idea of trying to save money and because I truly do love a steal. It’ll be because I know how to delay what I want right now for what I want most.

Embrace your money personality and where you are in the process. Just don’t do anything stupid.