Friends, comrades, allies in suffering….
I wish I had something deep and profound to say
But I don’t.
No amount of #metoo and #itgetsbetter will heal the pain
Or magically conjure up the strength to persevere
But regardless of my verbal ineptitude, I feel compelled to say:
Do not give up.
You may feel like your life is the longest tunnel ever constructed
With no end in sight
Endless night, with no light
Your legs have grown feeble as you collapse in the sewage water of
Rumination, anxiety, hopelessness, anguish, self-pity and pain
I too have fallen prey to the sewage rats that eat away at my gangrene limbs
My heart stopped functioning after being broken into tiny little pieces by the bat of life
And bruised beyond recognition
The pain of confusion and the fatigue of sameness and nothingness overwhelmed me
I thought to myself, why am I here? And what is the point of my life?
If my life were snuffed out now, would not the world be better off?
And then…..a glimmer of Light shone in the darkness
It was the tiniest of Lights, unimpressive to those who are outside of the tunnel
But to me this glimmer of Light was everything
And so I took what was left of my tattered will and heart
And I concentrated on this Light
And soon feeling returned to my legs and I crawled through the sewage water
And then the Light glimmered brighter
And I felt my knees strengthen so I stood up and I limped forward
One foot in front of the other, slowly
And the glimmering Light became even stronger
And my gait evened as I walked boldly through the tunnel
I am not out of the tunnel yet. I wish to God I were but I am not.
My hope, however, has returned to me, and that has given me all the strength I need to push forward.
To those who have considered suicide when the will to live isn’t enough…
To those who are in the midst of planning their next attempt…
To those who are one moment away from ending it all…
I urge you:
Please wait an extra minute, though the pain seem unbearable
Please wait and take a moment…because the Light is looking for you
The Light will find you
If you would just wait a second and a minute
When you see the Light, tune your whole attention to it
Thought it may be dim and small, don’t lose sight of it
The Light is your strength
The Light is the defibrillator to your broken heart and weary soul
Please don’t give up. The world will not be better without you.